I think I want to be a writer.
Never mind that think part.
I want to be a writer.
Ok, maybe that sounds stupid - I mean, I write this blog, right? But there is a reason for this random declaration. I've never really thought of myself as a writer. In school writing has a always been an academic strength for me, and I am the first to say that emailing me is always better; I abhor talking on the phone and there is something about the written word that lets me say exactly what I want to, in the way I want to. And I've always loved making up stories. But I couldn't be a writer. Aren't all writers broke and living in dingy apartments in the sketchy part of a city, living off stale coffee & Snickers bars? That is not me. And for a long time, I figured that meant I was not nor could I be a writer. And left it at that.
And then I went to Italy. Ha, I can't tell you how often I have used that sentence when talking about what about me has changed recently. [More on that later.] I got on that plane a half-broken person. I returned strong, confident, and more self-assured than I thought was possible for me. It's pretty cool.
I've been thinking a lot about that M.F.K. Fisher quote, why she writes about food. Because it's a basic, everyday thing with millions of different meanings and symbols that most of time are not given a second thought to. I'd really like to be a travel writer with a focus on food, because I think when you travel and get away from the norm, you naturally just start seeing things differently, in a broader scope, and it's fun to write about those new discoveries.
I don't know why I wrote all this. It's certainly nothing I haven't written several times before. But maybe if I declare it, "out loud" in a sense, it'll happen?
Huh.
I'm a writer.
~Namaste~
I NEVER wanted to be a writer, but after starting my blog, going to treatment, and getting all this positive feedback, I second guessed my "non-writing" persona I gave myself. Now I'm working on writing a book!
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing like putting it black & white to make it so. You go, Girl.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Mom (who still doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up, although I know I want to write book, I consider that more "storytelling". Hmmmmm....Onto my 3rd career!!!!
oh man, the "writer" title! i'm terrified of it, honestly. i think of myself as one in the sense that my thoughts and feelings come together best through written words: my emails and letters make infinitely more sense than my verbal statements ever will, and anytime i feel overwhelmed with a feeling i feel simultaneously compelled to work it out on a keyboard(/pen&paper). on the other hand, i'm usually afraid to outwardly call myself one, mostly because of the expectations that tend to come with it...and that good 'ole fear of rejection. i can just SEE people snickering amongst themselves: "heh...she thinks she's a writer...heh." anyway, my point is, i really admire and appreciate your adoption of it as a kind of self-defined title--not necessarily an external label, but a kind of self-concept, perhaps.
ReplyDelete