Edible Vengeance

This being my blog and I all, I have every intention on being 100% honest on here. And honestly - today was not a good day. I know exactly why, but that didn't change the fact that just getting out of bed was a challenge. Every negative thought possible was running through my head, about everything - my body, my abilities, my future - it was an endless stream of depressing negativity.

What I hate most about days like this is how LOUD the ED voice becomes. I should eat as little as possible, work out as long as possible, blah blah blah blah BS. There was a time where I could and would listen. But now, it just pisses. me. off. So, I fought back. How, you may ask?

Chocolate.

First in the form of yogurt:

I have had this for a while, but was saving for dessert...and then kept forgetting about. This morning was time.

It was good, quite good (although not amazing). At first it felt "wrong" eating something so chocolatey...but really, it's not all too far away from what I would put in oats.

I mean look at the ingredients:

It was a tad sweet for me, but all in all yummy. And it helped - made me feel just a little stronger.

Oh, and the chocolate did not stop there. Oh no.

Chocolate-covered cherry oat bran.

[Note: Next time, cut cherries smaller!]

Amazing Grass GreenSuperfood Chocolate

With almond milk, banana, cherries, and a splash of 'nilla. 

LOVED this. Very deep and chocolatey; I was impressed! I liked this as much as the Kidz Wildberry flavor - my only reservartion in buying a bigger container was that I don't necessarily want a chocolate-flavored smoothie every time I make a smoothie...maybe I will like the Original? Anyone else tried these before?

I continued my day of "edible vengeance" - after quite the breakdown in the kitchen with my mom - with probably the best sandwich this side of the Atlantic:

This is an Italian Sub from a little Italian Deli near my house that I grew up going to. The family who owns it is from Southern Italy and import most of their products, and make their [absolutely mouth-watering] bread. Walking in there is like walking into a mini-Mercato Centrale. It's wonderful. And they make the best Italian sub ever on their crunchy, golden, doughy baguette that rocks my carboholic socks.

Although, I will say this - there is nothing "Italian" about an Italian sub except for the individual ingredients. Yes, the bologna, salami, mortadella, mozzarella, and all that is Italian - but try to find this in Italy, and it's simply not there. In fact, when we explained what an Italian sub is to my Food & Culture professor, she looked at us like we had 3 heads! It is such a cool example of how food changes and adapts to a different culture. One of the many reasons why I love it so :)

Anyway, the vengeance went right on into dinner:

Artichoke-onion-garlic pizza on whole grain crust from Whole Foods. Aka, heaven.

This was so yummy. Their whole grain crust is to die for - you can see the flax seeds hangin out in it! YUM. And really not all that expensive, either!

I suppose today has been a long time comin. I can tell because I've had a serious itch to bake, bake, BAKE! And I have. Tonight it was Jenna's Whole Wheat Banana Bread that I made into muffins:

We had ripe bananas, I had the recipe pulled up...it was fate.

That little heart is from the end of my box of Kashi Heart to Heart cinnamon cereal (one of my favorites!). The two on the bottom have a drizzle of almond butter on top, and though you cant see it, the top 2 have a brown sugar sprinkle on top. I like getting creative with the presentation :)

And last night, I made Dreena's SuperCharge Me! cookies:

With craisins and vegan chocolate chips.

May I just say - WHOA. These are incredible. I just love sweets that are good & good-for-you. The flax meal gives them a wonderful nutty flavor and texture! I will be making these again. Butterscotch will be involved.

And speaking of chocolate [when I am not speaking of chocolate?], the Amazing Grass trial continued yesterday with:

I loooved the Wild Berry, so I had high hopes for the Chocolate!

1/2 nana + 8 cherries + 1/2 c. almond milk + ~1 c. spinach + 1 packet Kidz Chocolate SuperFood.

Meh. I didn't like this one much - too...grassy? I was really surprised when I liked the regular Chocolate so much! It was better after I added a hefty spoonful of cocoa powder, but still - I'll stick to the Wild Berry.

More new things were sampled yesterday, including:

Sideways-spoon test:

It passed - a little too well, though! It was a bit too reminiscent of eating glue. And it had a weird texture, like a little gritty? I'll keep on keepin on with Fage, the tried & true [love].

Took advantage of a 5 for 5 sale at WFs and got some new Odwalla bars - well, new to me.

I liked it, but it was not very pomegranate-y at all. It reminded me of a NutriGrain bar without the icky sugary filling. I might not buy it again, just because it wasn't exactly a stand-out, but it was worth the try.

In other news, I think my body is insisting on becoming a vegetarian. My mom and I went to the gym and then when we got back, she made a lentil-chicken soup using leftover chicken from dinner this past weekend. It smelled good, and I do love all-things lentil...but I couldn't stomach the idea of chicken. No idea why. But, if your body screams at you, it's a good idea to listen - so I made this tasty mess:

This was 2 egg whites + the remains of the tofu package I used for the cake frosting. It was Nasoya Lite Silken Tofu, because it was the only silken tofu the store had. It mixed with the egg whites more or less easily, and I cooked it in the pan with some broccoli slaw, garlic salt, pepper, oregano and rosemary. I drizzled it with *the best* olive oil, and when it needed still a little something more, I added a splash of golden balsamic vinegar - perfect. With a slice of whole grain bread from Costco. It was really tasty! I will definitely be making this again!

I wish I could say that's all that's been happening over here, but...this ain't the half of it. Emails, culinary school research, job search...oy vey. This is definitely a job for yoga.

~Namaste~

FUNday

Lately, something has really been getting to me. My posts since I've returned have felt very spastic and kind of everywhere to me. Must be the English major coming out - I have to have a thesis!! I've just noticed that titling posts is difficult because there is no one thing that can sum up what I've said, and being my perfectionist self, this does not sit well. All this to say - I'm working on it ;)

Yesterday I was really tired, for no apparent reason. I had planned on hopping over to the gym (in my NEW CAR!!!), but could not summon up the energy. I tend to take these things as a sign, because when it comes to exercise, I know I will personally stop it altogether if it stops being fun. And part of its continuing funness is not forcing myself to go every single day. Took the dog for a walk and did a little ab work before bed--and kept it fun!

Speaking of fun...let's talk food.

This was yummy, but I have to say, I have never been much for key lime-flavored yogurts. Something weird about it, it kind of has a weird-sweet taste to me? This was the best brand I've tried though. Ha, how sick are you of seeing pictures of Stonyfield cartons?!

B-fast also included a classic - cinnamon toast!

Well, cinnamon+ almond butter + pear preserves toast. There is just something about cinnamon on toasted bread, it's like they were mutually created just for this to be made. My mom always made me cinnamon (and butter :) toast when I was sick, so it's a major nostalgia food for me too. In fact, when I had to bring my 'nostalgia food' to my Food & Culture class this semester, I almost did this - but peanut butter-banana waffles won. It was a tough decision, let me tell you. 

Ok, I could have sworn up and down on all things gourmet that I talked about this, but apparently not, so...

In my Food & Culture class, we were all asked to discuss our persona "nostalgia food" - something that when we eat, the mere look/taste/smell takes us back to a certain moment or feeling that only this food can do to us. I chose peanut butter-banana waffles (with syrup, obvz), because whenever I had waffles for breakfast, my dad insisted on putting peanut butter on them (hell if I know why I protested - that was genius.).

Do you have a nostalgia food?

I also tried this guy:

It was...well, like a ginger snap! A bit heavy on the cloves, though. Like all Larabars, what you see is what you get - so if you're not a ginger fan, stay away. But if you are, it's quite tasty. I am kind of in between, and so far the peanut butter cookie Larabar is the winner (shocking, I know). What I like about these is that they are made of real food, and the high [healthy!] fat content keeps me full and happy for a pretty decent amount of time.

In other fun news - I got a present!

Ok, well, not exactly a surprise present, because I bought it for myself, but still - who doesn't get excited when a package arrives with their name on it???

Amazing Grass is a company whose products are craaaazy popular in the food/healthy living blog world. Their products - bars, wheatgrass powders and smoothie powder add-ins, are all-natural, organic, and busting with nutrients. I ordered 2 of their the Sample Packs - the regular product combo and the Amazing Meal combo. 

I have tried a couple of their bars before and enjoyed them because of their lasting power and readable ingredient list, and one of my favorite bloggers swears by their magical powers, so it was about time I got around to checking them out!

The first one I tried was the Kidz Wild Berry packet - because it sounded fun!

3 servings of fruits and veggies?? How is that possible??

Straight from the site: "We’ve used a quick-drying, low temperature, nutrient-preserving method to make a fruit and vegetable powdered drink that mixes easily with water or milk to provide your child with a fast, delicious way to drink up the healthy benefits of a variety of fruits and vegetables."

Pretty cool, right? 

[They do say that this is NOT meant to replace the fresh fruit/veggies in one's diet - just for a vitamin boost!]

1/2 frozen banana + 2 big strawbs + 1/2 c. almond milk + 1 packet Kidz Superfood Wild Berry
This was yummy. As in, once I go through all my samples, if I don't find one I like more, I'm making a beeline for Whole Foods and buy the big container of this stuff. We're all still kids at heart, anyway! It was pretty sweet, but it's a smoothie so it wasn't obnoxious, and I really liked the berry flavor it added (trust me, you'd never know it was also zucchini, brussel sprouts, green beans, and 10 million other veggies!). Next up: the chocolate. I'm excited.

I slept muuuch later than planned today, so time to catch up on my to-dos! I'll be back - with car pictures!!

~Namaste~

Mango-Pesto-Choco-WHOA!

You know you're a blog-addict when: you don't update for one day and it feels like forever!

Ok, so that exciting something I mentioned last post?

Drum roll please....

I HAVE A CAR! With four wheels and an engine and everything. SO EXCITING!!!! Pictures to come, of course (it rained cats and dogs pumas and St. Bernards today). Still thinking of names - need to drive her around a little more. YAY!

Saturday was blissfully uneventful, starting with this:

Fage yogurt + applesauce + some random apple cinnamon granola I found, with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Ok, actually, this wasn't too good. The applesauce totally killed the wonderful thickness of the greek yogurt and only left the tang, and...well, one of my less enjoyable creations. Live and learn! And it was rather pretty :)

 Unfortunately, my brother's Saturday didn't begin quite as happily. The lucky devil had to be awake and alive at 7:30 AM for his SAT. EW with a capital E. He was very much in need of sustenance when he returned from the ultimate brain drain, so we went off to...

First of all, love the slogan. So true.

When I was in high school, my biffle (BFFL, in word-form) and I discovered this place when we took the T into Boston to go shopping for sweet prom dresses and were hooked. They have some A-MAzing fries, and for a looong time they were the only place I knew in Mass. that had sweet potato fries!!! One of my faves :)  They also have great burgers (you can get beef, turkey, homemade veggie, or chicken breast!) and yummmmy smoothies. I wasn't too hungry, but I did steal several fries of both varieties and sip a yummy mango smoothie.

I have to tell you about my improvised dinner!

I just mixed some tuna with dijon mustard and tabbouleh, threw it on some greens/slaw, and drizzled with some olive oil and herbs - SO good! Tuna and tabbouleh make a truly wonderful combo - I highly suggest trying this ASAP. (Works with salmon, too!)

Today was pretty fun, minus the random thunderstorms that lasted for 2 minutes at a time. I like thunderstorms - just not the kind where rain pours down onto your new car whose windows you may or may not have forgotten to roll up. Keeps a girl on her toes!

My dad makes either pancakes or waffles every Sunday morning (my brother's request), but I usually sleep too late to partake. This AM, I was feeling a pancake, so I whipped one up myself. We usually have Bisquick, but today he had used Fiber One's pancake mix. Just add water and go:

I halved the amount for 3 pancakes to make just one big one and try out the F1 mix - and I'm glad I did. It was, well, not good. It was really dry and unpleasantly crumbly, and even cinnamon and maple syrup couldn't fix it. Sad. I need to make Jenna's or Kath's p-cakes, pronto. Real food is always better anyway :)

Breakfast also included a bunch of melon (I could seriously eat a whole melon a day in this humidity) and this guy, in honor of the end of yogurt week:

Meh. If I liked cherries more, I would have liked it more. The flavors are dead on though - the cherry and vanilla and very present and well-balanced. And - no fruit-on-the-bottom! Although the few I have had recently, like other Stonyfield and Chobani flavors, don't bother me as much as I remember. Probably because it's fake-ingredient-free - it just tastes like jam that I often just add myself!

Took my new baby for a test-drive to the gym for some ellipticalling - btw, Glee + NSYNC make some of the best gym music ever. In fact, I'm waiting for Glee to do a 90s episode - boy bands, Britney, Spice Girls, oh my! Tell me that would not be epic.

Unfortunately, I did not eat enough before the workout; I was definitely lacking in energy today. I usually go later in the afternoon, and I think it makes a biiiig difference. I don't like eating too close to the workout, but it's really hard to get the timing right sometimes. We made a pit stop and Whole Foods and my madre and I got lunch, including this:

What is that odd yellow thing in my sushi? MANGO!!!! This was mango+salmon+cucumber+cilantro. Ohmygod, genius in a box. The flavors were just perfect together - and some of my favorites! Sweet citrusy mango, fresh cool cilantro and cuke, and the tasty sweet salmon = to.die.for. Would be pretty easy to make on your own, too!

My parents hired me as personal chef tonight (no complaints here, I've been itching to cook!), and I made one of my favorite pastas from my cooking class: trofie al pesto e pescatrice!

-400 g fresh pasta (trofie is that particular twisted shape, holds the flavors better in this dish)

-300 g cherry/grape tomatoes, de-seeded & cubed

-500 g monkfish - I used swordfish both times I've made this and it is de-LISH.

-1 spring onion (or leek)

For the pesto:

-20 g fresh basil

-20 g ricotta cheese

-10 g pine nuts

-1 garlic clove

-1 Tbs parmesan

-4 Tbs cold water

Start your water aboilin' for the pasta. It takes a while.

I made the pesto first - you can use either a blender or food processor. Throw it all in with a little salt and blend 'til it's a sauce. (Add more water if it's too thick - although in my experience, 4 T is plenty!)

Deseed & cube your tomatoes now. If you want, you can add the seeds to the pesto to make it even creamier and get all that healthy lycopene :)

It's probably a good idea to cook your swordfish before the rest begins. It's not important how you cook it - pan, grill, broil. When it's done, cute it into cubes and keep it near your stove.

Chop up the onion. I used a leek, and if you do - only chop up the bottom white part! The green outer layers you can puree and make vegetable stock/soup with.

Saute the onion (or leek, or whatever you're using!) in some oil, then add the swordfish. The recipe says to cook for 3 minutes, but I didn't wait that long (didn't want the fish to overcook). Go with your gut - that's what cooking is all about anyway!

Is your pasta water boiling yet? Good - throw in that trofie!

Now add your tomatoes with a little S&P to the onion-fish saute pan.

After a couple minutes, check your pasta. If you used fresh, it's probably very close to done. Throw it in the pan and "quickly saute" - just toss it around and show it a good time ;)

Add the pesto sauce, mix, and plate into a perty bowl. Serve and watch as everyone bows to your sick-nasty-ill Italian culinary skills!

My mom made a nice green salad to go with it - can't get enough green!!

I also made dessert - feeling ambitious today! I have been wanting to try Dreena's Triple Layer Chocolate Cream Cake for a while - tofu frosting? This sounds too interesting to not try!

Because it was my first time and I wasn't sure how much it would make, I decided to halve the recipe. I made two layers instead of three, also - rather thin layers at that. I also added some chocolate chips to the cake batter (had a tablespoon or two left in the old bag). Well, it wasn't a total success aesthetically-speaking...

Oy. But, my mom helped me patch it back together:

Nothing a little strategically-placed frosting can't fix!

Can we just talk about how amazing this cake is? Oh yes. And the frosting - WHOA! I love tofu, but I love it even more now that I know it can turn into deep, fudgy ganache goodness. When I was making the frosting (for which I used vegan chocolate chips and damn those are good!!), I kept tasting it and here is what I added:

-a good couple of tablespoons of cocoa powder

-a hefty tsp of instant espresso (coffee will make chocolate flavor much more intense - I do it in my oats all the time!)

-cinnamon ---but this I regretted. Didn't like it as much as I expected.

-fresh mint leaves - YUM!

It was a hit. Even my brother enjoyed it - and he would run the other direction of anything with vegan or tofu in the title. If you never make another cake again in your life, make this!!!

I'm not gonna lie - I had quite the breakdown today. I felt gross, my cake was falling apart, and that evil ED voice in my head was screaming about how fat I was. And I just snapped. All I want is for it to not matter so damn much. I know I'm healthy, and I'm just so tired of fighting against that stupid voice in my head. It's so stupid that it can put me in such an awful mood so fast. I think this is another big part of why I am so focused on learning to east intuitively: I feel like if I can do that, I'll be more connected with my body inside and out. I just don't understand why I tolerate the negative self-talk - it REALLY pisses me off. Somedays it just feels like such an uphill battle. 

That said, I think this week will be Project: Positive Self-Talk. And I would love others to join me! At some point during the day, look in the mirror and be grateful for your awesome self - whoever you are right now. We all have flaws - they're a pretty important part of being human! But, I know I'm pretty disrespectful of my flaws, and that's just silly. They're just as much a part of who we are as our talents, and they deserve a little more respect. Yes, sometimes they trip us up and get in the way. I'm such an obnoxious perfectionist, I've had many a sleepless night spent worrying about a test the next day or that paper due next week. But, it's part of what makes me me, and I've accepted it. So, I look into the face of negativity and say: try me. It's on.

Thanks for letting me rant, y'all. It helps to just get it out, ya know? I'm very interested to see how this project ends up...I'll letcha know;)

In other news, I'm thinking of taking my blog in a new direction - still food and lots of it of course, but maybe a little more travel-centric? Well, I have lots of brainstorming to do.

~Namaste~

For the Love of Anchovies and Flowers

Oy. I have been thinking about changing the blog layout...and after 4 hours of clicking, copy-and-pasting, and tearing my hair out, I think I give up. Too...many...choices....

I didn't end up having to babysit this AM, so I went back to bed and made AM turn into PM! Does anyone else get a lot of crap from other people about sleeping late? Somedays it seems like everyone's favorite joke is how late Gillian sleeps and I gotta say, it gets old. I am perfectly aware it is because I stay up late, but that is simply because I am most productive from about midnight on. Always have been, too. I think it's something about the total quiet and solitude that just frees up a certain part of my brain and lets me think more clearly.

I'm so excited to hear from those of you thinking of/going to Italy to study abroad!!!! Italy is just a magical, wonderful place. DisneyWorld ain't got nothin on Tuscany. If any of you have any questions or concerns about it - or just want some sweet restaurant tips - please email me! It literally makes me giddy when people tell me they are going to Italy now. I'm ready to go back, like, right now.

Recently, I have been trying every fun flavor of Stonyfield Farms yogurt I can get my hands on. It may or may not be a coincidence that this week they were 2 for $1 at Whole Foods. So, on with yogurt week!

This morning included:

The likes: Very creamy, not fruit-on-the-bottom. For lemon yogurt fans, you can't go wrong with this. And it tasted sooo good this hot & humid morning!

The not-so-much: Kind of had a weird aftertaste after I finished it. Can't really relate it to anything, maybe I was just thirsty. Other than that - YUM!

Next up:

Maple Vanilla!!! 

The likes: Very creamy, and the flavors were definitely there. Would be ca-razy good on pancakes!

The not-so-much: Had an odd tang that didn't so much appeal to me. Also, this is a limited edition "seasonal" flavor - what is summery about maple-vanilla? Hell if I know. My real problem with that is it means it will go away - this should clearly be kept on year-round!

And finally, my addiction continues:

Yes, another Pomegranate Berry.

The likes: No fruit on the bottom, yet the flavor was not fake at all. Probably because none of the ingredients are...imagine that!

The not-so-much: The berry flavor is, well, just that - vaguely berry-like. I wish it was blueberry pomegranate; that is one of the most genius fruit combos ever. That's pretty much my only problem :)

Breakfast this morning also included this beauty:

Blushing!

And this guy (too hot for toast or oats and I was too lazy to whip out the blender):

Odwalla's Superfood bar

Yes, it is green! It contains spirulina, a blue-green algae with a whole bunch of good whole food benefits. It has a very...interesting flavor. I go through the same cycle every time I eat it: I hate it, then like it, then end very confused. It has this weird stick-in-the-back-of-your-mouth thing that I find it hard to get over, but the flavor is very complex and earthy kind of like green tea, which I like. [Hence the confusion.] This bar was nothing if not complex. Every bite was a different flavor - from dates, to banana, to raisins. And that is what the bar claimed its flavor profile was, so I guess mission accomplished? It also had little bits of little rice crispies that added a nice crunch for texture variety. Would I buy it again? Honestly, I have no idea. It's the type of thing I would never buy, but could get a random craving for and nothing else would do. Ya know?

I dragged my brother out to walk the dog with me - mostly because I wanted to take pictures, and as I discovered last time, that's not so easy to do when you are on the other side of a leash from a very eager, excited dog.

For once, I was off pick-up patrol!

Tell me these are not the coolest flowers ever?!!! The colors are like crayons!

Flowers = the non-edible fruits of summer.

We came back just in time for dinner - Friday=Pizza night! I was pretty excited for this:

Broccoli + Anchovies. Italy changes a girl. At the very least her tastebuds! The broc worked really well with the anchovies, too - earthy matched with salty, and the mozzarella added just the right sweetness. Oh anchovies, where have you been all my life?

Dessert was one of Bertucci's (Italian/pizza classy chain in New England - their pizza is exactly what I had in Italy. Che buono!) rolls. They are famous for their complementary dinner rolls, and once you taste one, you know why.

Doughy and delicious. I eat them plain - they don't need anything.

Dessert also included this:

A Raspberry "Sherbetter" Bar!

It's a little too "milky" tasting for me, but the texture and creamy flavor is enough to overcome that little detail. I'm way more of a sorbet fan than sherbet (the milk thing again), but this is really quite tasty! I will enjoy the rest of the box, but not really sure I'd buy it again unless I was craving it in particular.

This is a pretty exciting weekend for me...but you'll just have to wait to see why! Here's a hint: I've been brainstorming new names....

~Namaste~